Monday, April 11, 2011

You might be a Topwater!

Topwater- I think the definition of a topwater would be a duck hunter, new to the sport that obsesses over it. I mean that is all they think about. They try anything and everything to kill a duck. They present themselves in public as an expert and make sure all around them know how good, the gadgets they possess, and how obsessed they are with their sport. So topwater I would probably say is all about the presentation of yourself in duck hunting to people around you. All of us were newbies and totally obsessed with duck hunting at one time or another. I will be the first to say I did a lot of things on this list at one time or another and I was obsessed with duck hunting. So as you read these please don't get mad at me for listing them because I did most of them. I actually was Topwater of the year in 1997. So here they are (just finish each statement with you might be a topwater):

If you try to load 3.5 into a 3 inch gun,
If you have camo makeup on your face after the hunt when you make it to town to grab breakfast,
If you wear your calls into the restaurant,
If there is nothing older than two years old in all of your duck hunting supplies,
If you have a dog named delta or gumbo,
If you put camo makeup on your yellow dog,
If you have more spinners than regular decoys,
If you have to many duck hunting stickers on your truck,
If Drake or Under Armour is your number one brand in your closet for all your clothes,
If you have a duck tatoo,
If you use a Primos Shaker feeder,
If you have more chokes than shells,
If you can't clean your own gun, (I fit into this one, I have to get a client to clean it for me each year)
If all your duck bands came from EBAY,
If you think your banded bird was banded in Laurel, Maryland,
If you use duck cocaine or hen-n-heat in your hole,
If  you copy or quote more than three things from The Duckman,
If you park a red or yellow 4-wheeler beside your blind in full site of ducks,
If you think you can shoot two daily limits because of the possession limit law,
If the only comeback you know is the Arkansas hail call,
If all your camo matches to the T,
If you don't know what a grebe is, (that's me, i thought I had a rare coot)
If you buy Drake old school camo,
If you have a dog named drake or avery,
If you hunt public land and set up 50 yards or less from the next group and refuse to hunt with the other party next to you even after being asked to,
You try to kill a duck 75 yards or higher,
If you use confidence decoys,
If you don't know how to load your gun,
If you shoot more ducks on the water instead of hovering,
If you own a call coozie,
If you blow a Canada call when specks are flying two miles high over you,
If your ring tone on your cell phone is duck chatter,
If you use camo toilet paper,
If you just happen to have your handy dandy hand held crow call on your duck lanyard.
If you have chrome exhaust on your outboard or mud motor for your duck boat

If you know of any more that need to be added please leave them to me where I can add them in the comments section.

Rocky Leflore

1 comment:

Unknown said...

#2 in the nation,

Being the "client" that has to clean the duck guides gun every year, I think topwater should be changed to "Malouf" or "Maloufed" whichever the case may be. Glad to see the new posts. Just eight more months till some Micheal Bolton Pasta

The Younger Jones